Title: Purpose, Passion and Pain
Subtitle: A conversation between Mother & Daughters
Here is our live conversation on Purpose, Passion and Pain:
Yes. So the question that we are asking and discussing right now is how do you identify and know that you’re walking within your purpose?
I believe that purpose really gives you that sense of identity, that sense of peace when you’re walking in your purpose, there is a certain amount of contentment that comes with it. It’s so powerful. It’s so funny because last night, before I went to bed, I was just kind of scrolling through Facebook and I heard TD Jakes, he was talking about how we can walk within our purpose, but it does not free us off of profits. It doesn’t free us of issues that we will face in life. But the difference is that when you’re walking within your purpose it gives you that stamina. It gives you that inner unction to kind of keep moving because you’re excited about it. You find your place and you will make a difference because you are being unique in what you present and you’re impacting people in your space,
Awesome, incredible. Yes, just to answer that question, even as a young adult, you know, going through life as you know no older an older Millennial I would say the….realizing for my generation, how we’re still caught between the baby boomers who, you know, they have a job, they have their identity and kind of knowing what they want to do with their life and their career and they stick to it. They will pretty much do that for the duration of their time here until they retire. But then I’m coming from the generation where people want to pursue their passion, and they want it to tie into their purpose. And the moment that they find that this is no longer fulfilling them, nor serving the purpose for which they believe they’re called in the season that they’re in, then they are willing to walk away from it. They are willing to go ahead and go in search of what they believe they’re called to do, and what they know they need to fulfill for them to live out their calling, and their purpose and, in essence, walk in the full essence of who they know they are. their identity. Sometimes they don’t even really know who they are because they’re searching. And that’s what this conversation is about, to help get our younger and up and coming generation to start thinking about how do I go from kind of fumbling through and trying to figure things out and get to a place of truly knowing who I am, what I am on this earth to do. Right. And so, for me being in that generation, in a way even you might have said that I’ve been kind of wise beyond my years in terms of how I’ve always viewed what I want to do and pursue in life. And so, just being, as you said earlier, a lady involved in ministry for as long as I can remember, knowing that ministering to people and ministry is everything, because human beings and people go through everything. And so there’s so much facets that we’re able to operate in when it comes to being a person that is called to ministry.
And I have to piggyback on what you were saying about sometimes we don’t even know what it is. So now we have to try and just be aware of what we do, when you try and figure out what is it that we like to do…For example, I’m doing something and I realized that I enjoy it. So okay, I’m enjoying this, maybe this is something that I want to do. So just being aware of like, what you’re doing and just realizing your reaction to certain things and just being able to just be keen on things that you like just being aware of yourself, just being self aware. I think that is how you also know when you’re in your purpose or walking in your purpose.
There are two words actually that you mentioned, Rachael, that really kind of define the whole essence of purpose, something that you like, and you being aware, being sensitive to what is it that really makes you feel like oh, this is me, I love it.
Yes. Okay. Let me try and go that route now
Right, because actually that is really for a person who’s really struggling, trying to find out: Oh my, what is it that I’m here to do? What difference can I make that will make a difference? It’s really all that you said, the most essential part of what you said, which is really being comfortable and being able to be sensitive to what makes you comfortable, and at the same time within that circle of being comfortable, You are passionate about it as Stacy had said passionate. So we’re talking about passion, we’re talking about feeling contented. At the same time you are driven to want to excel within that thing that keeps on giving you that sense of satisfaction and happiness.
Well, I love what you both are bringing forward for us to think about and as you’re both talking, what comes to mind is, it is going to be a process. As I mentioned a little bit earlier, is that for the generation that I’m a part off, it seems like depending on the season that you’re in, and if depending on what is going on in your life and what it is that you’ve come to embrace, the people you surround yourself, with the books that you’re reading, the things that you’re exposing yourself to, the places you are going.. Exposure we know is everything. When you realize, it’s so important, you know, as you were saying, to be sensitive, be aware. Purpose comes forth when you take the time to make connections, to go beyond the comfort zone of your device, your laptop. You know we are in a society where everyone is turning to and trying to find their definition of success or their definition of identity by what they see on the screen, maybe not even so much so a movie or TV because, you know, we have the screen of our phones and social media. And, unfortunately, sometimes we get in the trap of comparing ourselves because everyone’s showing their highlight reel, you know, on Facebook and all the other social media platforms, Instagram, Twitter, wherever you’re spending your time, Snapchat. There’s so many of them out there that people are starting to use as a mirror for who should be.
And one thing I would say too, when trying to find your purpose? Don’t be so focused on Oh my god, what is it that I want to do with my life? Because I’ve had experiences in the past where I would just get frustrated sometimes, like, Look, what is it that I want to do? I don’t know, you know, just get so frustrated. And I felt like I was in that Limbo for such a long time because I was so focused on me not knowing my purpose to the point where now I’m not even just trying to let it come and let it flow. You know, just keep living like reading books, like you’re saying. I realized I started reading books, just learning about different things. And once I did that, everything started to come. So, let’s not focus too much on what’s my purpose, but just actually living life and then the purpose will come to you or you will just identify your purpose.
Mom, what do you have to say on that?
I mean, here is my youngest daughter. She’s my first daughter and my second daughter. And it seems to me like the millennials tend to zoom in on rubbing out the issues and zooming in on their purposes quicker. Because my generation really, we tend to kind of allow ourself to mirror what’s around us and what our parents told us. We’re kind of more rigid, but then it’s just as you said, Rachel, you and Stacy, you just can’t really allow yourself to be a mirror. Millennials are more purposeful, they’re go getters. We (baby boomers) are more cautious, but then once we have arrived there, we actually stick with it.
Stick with it In the long run, yes. You know there are the pros and the cons to have either mindset.
Yes, yes, it is still a process, but the good thing about it is that we will have less hiccups because we are more cautious. we might go through a more painful process and stay within that process longer, because we want to make sure that we’re going in the right direction. Millennials I mean I don’t want to speak for you guys, but it seems like you say: okay this is what I want, this is what I want, I like this, I don’t like that, okay, I’m comfortable with this.
It’s not working for me anymore. So I’m just gonna go ahead and move forward and leave it to the side, you know, because we don’t have time to waste. You know, we don’t we don’t want our life, in essence to be a waste. We want it. We want to leave a great mark in the industry in the unit, whether it’s your family unit or if you are a part of a ministry, whatever it is that you have a passion for. And you want to see something great fulfilled and definitely through you as an individual. Then you’re willing to go ahead and lay it down and plough forward and not necessarily endure the pain in a certain case, when you realize, hey, maybe this is a sign that I need to go ahead and pivot in another direction. You know, but I want to kind of explore that deeper that question on pain because that is such an important part of the process. You know, the important part of becoming, becoming that radiant pearl, becoming that exquisite gem, that gold, when we talk about the refinement of these different gems that are great value, and we want to be of great value and a great asset to the to the world that we are in. The communities that we’re a part of, the businesses that we’re developing and and everything that we play a role in.
So let’s let’s kind of head on to that second question. That is How have you come to embrace the pain and the struggles that you have been through?
I’ll have to say, me living now for 24 years, I’ve realized that, I think we all have realized that obstacles are going to come, it’s going to happen. So since we know that, how do we react to it now? We know obstacles are going to come, there’s going to be some blocks in life and things like that. But when those bad moments happen or when situation arises? Do we sulk in that moment and just be like, Man, this is my situation and just kind of succumb to it? Or do we say okay, right now I’m in the situation. I don’t like how I’m feeling right now. You know, I know that this might help me become a more empathetic person, you know, and be able to relate to other people who probably have, you know, similar situation. And then also just being able to realize it’s helping, you know, cultivating you and you just learn from those experiences. So I think that is how you embrace the pain and struggles, knowing that it doesn’t last always. Problems are always going to come, but it doesn’t last forever. So we know this is life. It’s a life cycle and we just keep going and we don’t like just get stuck in it.
Yes, and your perspective is very similar to how I viewed pain. Pain in life in general is not something you can get away from because it’s just a part of life, right? So the moment you start to embrace it…one of the notes that I made while just thinking on this question is, turn your pain into purpose. Passion, and progress will come if you have that perspective, because you know that it is a process that you have to go through. to become all that you you are to become. And also, in order to live to your full potential. If you stay in a place that is comfortable, then you will never be stretched, you will never get to that level that you could get to if you were able to fight your way through and realize, hey, maybe I’m going through this, like you said to be empathetic. Because God wants to take me higher, there’s more that you know, higher that I need to go. And we know the higher you go, the farther you fall. And so we always hear this over and over again in ministry and in being involved in helping people, working with people, that the only way that you will be able to be sustained when you get to a high height and a higher place, is having a level of character and substance. And so you won’t necessarily be able to stay on top, if you haven’t gone through what you need to go through, because more than anything, you’re going to be despised, rejected, you’re going to be envied, there’s going to be so much you have to deal with when you are on top. Because of just how it is in life. People are jealous. They’re a lot of things, the enemy is going to try to attack you from all corners because you have so much more to give and to offer.
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So, the only way that you are going to be able to really be sustained is to go through that pain and to have that perspective and to have been able to push forward into that higher place.
You know, just listening. Rachel said she has been around for 24 years. I’ve been around 55 years. And what I have noticed and what I’ve learned is that experience is the best teacher. I’ve learned so much. And it has propelled me through my experiences. Life has propelled me to become better. Life has put me at a place where I am truly recognizing my purpose and I am becoming more comfortable. So bottom line, it’s an ongoing process. finding your purpose is an ongoing process. Because of the cycles you go through, the seasons you go through, the seed that is planted. And so as you say, it’s a matter of just really growing, but at the same time not becoming stagnant, not allowing yourself to be pushed down by the forces that comes against you. It’s a matter of just really forming that identity and having that Passion and that drive and that interest, whatever level that you find yourself evolving into. Whatever it is that gives you that peace and that happiness, and that comfort, that in spite of what is going on around you, you are just at peace. Because you feel, you know within yourself that you’re doing, and I want to say you’re doing you but not in a selfish way, you’re doing something that really is you. And so you find that you become, surprisingly, you impact people who are searching for something. Everyone has something unique that will contribute or minister to somebody. And so once you can find what is in you that is different, that will draw people towards you, and let them want to listen to you…If you’re a good singer, whatever kind of genres that you really sing or utilize mostly when you’re singing, then there’s a crowd for that. Whatever spirit that comes with it, the ministry that is placed within you, then that what is going to used to draw men unto you, so to speak. You know, I just believe that passion is something that even after fifty five years on this planet, I am still evolving and finding that comfort zone at different levels and really still pushing towards the purpose because the purpose is really a wide paradigm really.
I love that mommy. I think it’s so important. Now we’re going to turn to you as the viewer and the listener, because all this conversation that we’re having is coming from different spectrums of living. You know, when we talk about the span of generation that is represented here, as a listener you know where you are and where you’re coming from. And I love the point that mom just brought out, that is the cycles that we go through. And one of the things that I’ve always as a young girl in college and with the nonprofit and the different work that we’ve done, you know, for some reason, the idea of seasons has always resonated with me, you’ll see from the slogan, make this your season for anointed living, and it’s just kind of that idea, that concept, what season are you in? You know, recognizing Rachel said, being aware, being sensitive…All of these important words that we need to take time to marinate and to think on. We don’t take enough time to really ponder you know, for being a Christian and taking time to meditate on The Word or taking time to just be alone. And for those Zen and they do their different ways of wanting to be able to remove all the noise and to be at a calm place so they can hear their thoughts. And clearly see, recognize where they are in this season of life. And the moment that you are able to do that and pinpoint, you know, what it is that defines you in this moment or you want to define you in this moment, then you’re able to figure out what steps you need to take in order to walk in that purpose. In order to embrace the pain that you’re going through, in order to eventually walk in that purpose. So, one of the things I love that was brought out is that we are all artists and what was brought out is that everyone has someone that they can reach. Whoever mom can reach, I may not be able to reach because I can’t identify with them because we speak different languages even when it comes to our artistic abilities.
And the same thing with Rachel, you too can recognize, I will not be able to influence the people that you’ll be able to influence and be able to share your story and be able to encourage and minister to. So each of us has that amazing opportunity before us to embrace the pain, to embrace our story and to share our story.
Rachael, I want to give my sister, I know we just both spoke but I want to give you both last words to say to encourage our listeners and viewers as well here on the YouTube channel.
Okay I have to say to see a rainbow, rain has to be there before, so after the rain then comes the rainbow. So just know that it will get better. You will find your purpose. Just make sure to be aware of what’s going on in your life and just be sensitive to different things and you’ll be able to just pick that up. Once you do that and not focus too much on what is my purpose? What am I doing? and just live your life and let it come to you.
I love that! That is the total vibe of this generation.
My word really is, be in love with what makes you happy. Be in love with what really sparks your interest and if you’re interested in something that makes you excited, then chances are, not even chances are, that is really your passion. If you’re excited about something, I mean, right now on my job, I mean, after teaching for like, almost 30 years, I am finally finding one of my real strong passion in my career as a teacher and that is to really build and work with the curriculum to. Right now I’ve been asked to be the literacy coach for the entire school that I’m working at, why? Because little by little, they have seen within me that passion for wanting to help struggling readers, who want to help students who are struggling, and really break it down, give them the visual, give them the audio so that they can understand they can read something and break it down for them, so that they can comprehend it properly.
It’s like it just fell on my lap, but then every time I’m getting ready to plan or to hold a little meeting with my other co-workers, I’m just excited about it! It’s like the thoughts just start flowing. So anytime you find that you’re excited about something that faces you. At the beginning you might feel a little fearful or challenged, but then as soon as you start relaxing and saying okay, it’s coming to me, I can flow with this. And especially if you talk to the Lord if you pray if you’re a praying person, then you will you will find that once you talk and you say okay, God, I love this and I’m excited about it. Give me some some visual about it, He’s going to drop in your spirit that radar and you are just going to find yourself flow.
Awesome, awesome. I love, I absolutely love. You know, both of you really just laying it all out in terms of how you view and how you are able to identify and really push others to think deeper on that question for themselves. From being from being happy, to finding something that brings you joy when you’re doing it, to living in that moment. And, you know, also my mom, I have to put this plug here. Not only is she an educator, but the Lord opened the doors recently for you to open up your own tutoring center, Pearls and Pillars. So that project just really took off with just one event you pretty much were booked out for the semester. So when that season and time comes around again…You even hired on other tutors to come on and be a part of your company. Yes. Yeah. So we’re going to definitely link that in the show notes for you know, individuals to see as a passionate educator and a minister and you know, psalmist, singer, just doing so much…When you’re called to reach the masses, and to be a blessing, to help people. I mean, there’s no telling the doors that will open once you prepare yourself and allow yourself to be open to be used.
Actually I like that word preparation, because preparation is really the key to propel you into doors as they open. Once you’re prepared, then you will find those doors already open, opportunities will come. And you will just flow in with an ease and confidence because you’re prepared. So guys remember, even when you don’t see any reason to prepare, just prepare.
That’s a good thing. I was actually thinking about that the other day. When I was at a particular job…It wasn’t working towards what I wanted to do. But I told myself How can I prepare myself right now at this job to take on another job that I would want to do? How can I be a leader right now? alongside my co workers and things like that so when the time comes and I want to have a leadership position somewhere, I’ve prepared myself in a previous job. So just seeing it like that too, just preparing yourself in whatever situation that you’re in now, you know.
What a teaching moment! The young one shall speak wisdom as well. I’m telling you because the idea that you brought forth, you know, some people like you said earlier wallow in the state that they’re in. “Oh, things are not working out in my favor, what is going on? What did I do to deserve this? but recognizing there’s a lesson that you need to learn, but not only a lesson, you can still learn and step up to the plate as a leader, a servant leader. Leading when you don’t even have the mic, Leading when you don’t have the platform to do so, Leading when you don’t even have what they would say authority to lead. When you can lead from the back of the pack right there, just in that state.
I love that, you don’t need a platform to lead.
It’s incredible because that is a lesson that will take people years and years of trial and error to learn. But if you can learn that in your youth, do you know how much further you will go and how much more prepared and ready you will be when the doors are flung open wide and the platform and audience that has been prepared because you have taken the time to be ready for that moment. That moment, may not have to necessarily even be on a stage but remember the wilderness, after you said the rain, after the wilderness period of going through what you needed to go through in order to be qualified not by man, but by God.
You are just touching on a book I am writing! That wilderness experience is a training room.
So we’re going to pick this up on another episode where we will be able to delve deeper into some of these thoughts that we left on. I know we’ve left you on the edge of your seats and you’re ready to just go deeper and to see more of what God has for you, more of what it means to be a Radiant Pearl, to be an exquisite gem that is going through the process and the refinement to become who you are called to be.
Final Fearless declaration on Episode:
Thank you so much for joining us and I will leave these last few words which is apart of the words in the intro/outro music “Fearless” : I believe I will make it, I want you to say this! It’s going to be a declaration: I am fearless. I believe I will make it, all the pain that I went through will be worth it. God has a plan, He will come through. He believes in me and you. What He says of me. That is what I will be.
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This week’s journaling questions are:
- What does pain have to do with purpose?
- What does it mean to be a Radiant Pearl?
- Am I preparing for the person I want to be in the future?
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